I'm Going Crazy

Sorry for the short post the other day. We were on vacation and I only had a short break to go online.

This past weekend we went up to Prescott, AZ to visit my husband's family for Labor Day weekend. We didn't get home until 1 AM Monday night/Tuesday morning. By the time we left Prescott, my fuse was completely gone. The whole ride home I just anticipated getting home and getting away from my in-laws.

I don't have bad in-laws, in fact I consider myself pretty lucky in that aspect. They were extremely supportive when we told them I was pregnant. They have always been loving. But the more I get to know them, the less I like them and the more annoyed I get. Not all of my husbands family are annoying. I'm very fond of his brother and very happy with a few of the cousins I've inherited. But lately the rest of my husbands immediate family have been driving me nuts.

I'll start with the least problematic - my mother-in-law. Ann is an awesome MIL and I have been blessed to have her as my family. We get along, I love having a MIL that I can talk to and go shopping with. In the land of MILs I am lucky. The only problem I really have is that sometimes she tries too hard.

I'll give an example.

I have to explain first that I am a neurotic person. I tend to have OCD-type habits and I need things done a certain way. When they aren't done my way i have a anxiety attack. One of my compulsions is about Adi's clothes. I refuse to take off the tags and wash them until she is wearing that particular size. Currently Adi is wearing 12 months meaning any 18 month clothing still has tags and are sitting on the same hangers they came on. When we went up this weekend Ann had bought Adi some new outfits. They were mainly size 18 month. Ann asked me if I wanted her to wash them and I said no that they were fine since she won't be wearing them for a couple months.

I woke up on Monday morning to find that Ann had ignored my response and had washed all the clothes anyways. Not only that but she washed them in regular detergent because she doesn't have free detergent. So not only do I have a panic attack but I'm going to have to rewash them anyways. I know it's not Ann's fault. She just wants to be helpful and I think she is trying to compete with my mother.

That's partly because my mother is a natural care taker. She is a great cooker, an obsessive cleaner, and extremely helpful. I love my MIL but she doesn't really share these qualities. She's not the best cook, a bit of a hoarder, and can be a bit selfish. Still she tries to seem like the ideal mother/grandmother. This almost compulsive need to help can drive me nuts when presented in large amounts. Sometimes it can be a bit much for me to handle.

The other lesser evil is my sister-in-law Ariel. I'm practically an only child. I have two half sisters that are older but I've lived alone most of my life. I have no experience with younger siblings except my nephew who is the same age but more importantly is a BOY. She's 15 years old and filled with crazy amounts of hormones. Her drama fills the air any where she is and I'm reminded of high school. Normally this is fine but lately she has gotten out of control.

You see my 15-year-old SIL is sleeping with a 23-year-old air force officer. She's been lying to everyone about it and the truth is just starting to come out. It's been a dramatastic, ulcer-giving shit fest to say the least. And it's completely damaged the relationship I had previously forged with her. I question everything she says wondering whether it's the truth or not. I never enjoy conversations with her. The mixture of hormones and drama makes it impossible for me to be around her without getting extremely annoyed. I hate having to fake relationships and that's what vie been having to do with her.

Now my MIL and SIL have been hard to handle but I still love them greatly. My father-in-law is a completely different story. When I first met Steve he seemed nice enough though he was usually gone when we would visit Prescott. You see he travels for about 40% of his job and works at home for the rest.

Before I became pregnant and before getting married I had hoped to become a lawyer. I have always been an ambitious and hardworking person and my love of debate made law the ideal fit. Me becoming a lawyer impressed Steve. He respected my ambition and we were able to have intelligent conversations. Since deciding to become a teacher everything had changed. Steve now has little if any respect for me. It's as if choosing my family over fortune were a bad thing. I often times hold fake arguments with him in my head where I yell that at least I love my family enough to want to be around - a stab at him for always being gone.

He has always made comments about my upbringing, calling me spoiled or privileged. It's not only an attack of my character but an attack of my parents' as well. I want to scream at him, I want to say you can judge my parents all you want but I was a 4.0 student who not only went to college but got a full ride and graduated magna cum laude while you've raised 3 average children, 2 of whom went to community college because they couldn't get into a university straight out of high school and who had all lost their virginity before they were 14 while I have only slept with my husband. So you really think that your parenting methods are better?! That's a laugh.

The more I'm around my FIL the more I dislike him. I now walk the thin line of disdain and hate. I hate being around him and most of me sarcastic "jokes" are really attacks toward him out of that disdain. He makes me not want to visit Prescott and makes it harder for me to deal with the issues my MIL and SIL present. It's rough.

I've been struggling with most of this internally because I've been scared to criticize my in-laws to my husband. But this past experience has made it impossible for me to remain silent anymore. I'm going crazy. Thankfully he's always on my side. It's great to know he has my back even when it's against his family.

I want to get this worked out. I don't want to be that wife who can't get along with her in-laws. I know it's not entirely their fault but it's not just me either. It's going to be a serious struggle but it's important.

Wish me luck.