So, I don't think I'm cut out for this housewife thing. I love the mom part of stay-at-home, that's easy. Loving my daughter is simple task. Taking care of her might be difficult but I enjoy it, it's part of why I know I want to become a preschool teacher, I love children especially at this age.
But the other assumed responsibilities of staying at home are starting to get to me. I have never been, nor do I claim to be, a clean person. For anyone who watches Grey's Anatomy I am in many ways Christina Yang. I am a determined, obsessive, competitive, know-it-all slob. I don't really do much other than laundry (which I paid my roommates to do for me the first 2 years I was in college) and load dishes into a dishwasher. But now that I live in a house with my husband and spend most of my days watching reruns of Grey's, certain things are expected.
We just moved into our new home a week and a half ago. There is still a lot of things to unpack and get in order but my energy is so low and my motivation to do housework is so low that I am nowhere near being finished.
My television intake has increased tremendously, it's hard for me to get anything accomplished. Plus chasing my now mobile 10 month old around (she just turned 10 months today) makes it impossible to work while she's awake. And the thin walls make it extremely difficult to work while she's asleep. I can't imagine doing this for the rest of my life.
I can't imagine the women who stay-at-home with multiple children. Just caring for my daughter and trying to actually clean is more exhausting than any of the semesters where I took 21 credit hours. I'm not sure how long this experiment can last. I'm already starting to go crazy.
I'm a social being. I miss people, I miss talking and gossiping, and doing stuff. I talk to my daughter but the conversation is definitely one-sided, I miss interactions. My husband would do a better job at this, he hates having to talk to people. Maybe he should be the one in this experiment. But for now, it's my task, even if it is the hardest task I've ever had to do.
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