Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life

Today is the first day that I have felt like an adult.  My daughter will be 10 months on Thursday and I've been married for a little over 7 months, but I have not felt like an adult until today.

You see, as of today I am officially a college graduate.  I no longer have any courses or coursework to complete.  My final exam was on Saturday and since I have already walked (in May) I am officially a graduate.  I now live in a house (albeit a rental) with my husband and daughter.  And I am of legal age to drink (I'll be 22 in a month).  So today, I feel like an adult.

Though, I must clarify that I don't feel grown up.  I still love playing Wii and watching Spongebob Squarepants with my husband; I adore Dave and Buster's, aka adult Chuck E. Cheese; and I still love Disney movies with all my soul (even though the feminist in me despises them, my thesis was on the hegemony of Disney princesses).  So I am by no means a grown up, but I don't feel like a child anymore.

Living in Chandler, however, seems to remind me of how young I really am.  Many of the women I see here are in their 30s or 40s with 3 or more children.  We met a couple at church yesterday with 7 children!

I feel like I'm playing catch up with my one daughter to their multiples.  And though I love being a young mommy and a self-declaring MILF, I feel like I'm not fully respected as a mom because of my age.  Sure I still wear stilettos when pushing my stroller and maybe my dresses aren't always mom appropriate (especially when you have to bend down and set up the stroller or pick something up that baby has dropped) but I don't think that negates my validity as a mother.

I'm a young mom.  I was pregnant on my 21st birthday, and while I'm not much of a drinker, I still want to live out my 20s with the same youth and excitement as my other friends.  Just because I'm a mother doesn't make me OLD.

I refuse to conform to what society views is an "ideal mother." I put my daughter first, I love her more than myself, and I have definitely made sacrifices in my life to provide for her.  Just because I don't want to give up my dreams as well doesn't make me a bad mother.

I'm not saying that I'm going to put all my needs before my daughter, if that were the case this experiment wouldn't even exist and I'd be working instead of doing laundry and blogging right now.  All I'm saying is that maybe not every mother has to rock mom jeans and a soccer bob haircut.

"For this Mother's Day, don't give Mom that bottle of perfume. Give her something that says, 'I'm not a woman anymore. I'm a mom!'" - Saturday Night Live

So today I feel like an adult...and while that might not be enough for Society, it's sure as heck enough for Adi and I.